The Ninth

[anticirclejerk]

RP HATE MEME

Go nuts. Namedrop, rant, rave, and wank up a storm.

NEWEST PAGE

Game Hate | Canon Hate | Namedropping | Game Pet Peeves | Meme Pet Peeves
Report threads here.

I am going to delete all the dumb, aspergers worthy discussion threads.

this is not the place for talking about butts and farts and shrimp. take that to your plurk or rpanons.

"No kidding. This breach of privacy can be argued on the fact that the people posting the caps were given permission to be in the private links. So the fault isn't on Anticirclejerk or the ACJ mod, but the component that decided to make the screencap." - Anon

Comments

[explosivecombat]

...actually, no, I think I understand what you mean by that first sentence. There are varying degrees of tolerance for things that one doesn't agree with or personally would find reprehensible dependent on severity. So no, I actually do understand what you mean, I think; it's less "tolerant enough to deal with it" and more "willing to deal with it in the name of tolerance," if that makes any sense. I apologize if that's convoluted, but I sometimes have difficulty understanding what people mean because I don't always process connotation in the way that I should - I apologize if I've been overaggressive on that point, and on the tolerance thing in general; I understand what you're saying now.

As I said, I do respect what you're trying to do, and I can likewise respect that standpoint - that the only people who should come forth with information should be the person wronged, ideally speaking - but at the same time, that isn't exactly going to happen here due to the nature of DW as a whole, and particularly ACJ. I've personally tried to wash my hands of the entire affair; any mentions I've made of Jex in public were either civil or free of namedropping. As I said above, I neither condone nor enable posting of details here, but I will admit that I don't feel obligated to stop it, either, simply because I see no need to shove my feelings down and hide it from my friends if someone is upsetting me. Again, if the problematic behavior toward me stopped, then there would be no more details. This is why I say that all of this stops when Jex decides it stops. Simple as.

I don't consider this a waste of my time, and I can private-plurk you later, if you would like. Again, thank you for being civil in this discourse; I really do appreciate it.

[(Anonymous)]

Then, here's my question to you.

What happens if one of your friends who is posting here gets angry at you? Do you honestly think they won't come here and talk shit about you?

[(Anonymous)]

What the hell has this got to do with anything?

Keep reaching.

[(Anonymous)]

'As I said above, I neither condone nor enable posting of details here, but I will admit that I don't feel obligated to stop it, either, simply because I see no need to shove my feelings down and hide it from my friends if someone is upsetting me.'

That's what I'm aiming at.

[(Anonymous)]

And? So what if she doesn't feel obligated to stop it? Is she supposed to?

I'm trying to work out why you seem to think she's supposed to hold back the details from her close friends of someone being an offensive little shit to her, and how this makes her a bad person/wanker for not doing so.

That is some gross, victim-blaming logic you got there. Cute.

+ FUCKING ONE

[(Anonymous)]

[explosivecombat]

That's a perfectly valid question, but no, I wouldn't be surprised. I'm well aware of how this works, Anon; I'm not naive enough to think that the world is my best friend, and I learned a long time ago to not trust people at face value. I might be upset if one of my friends were to do something like that, yes, but I can't say that I would be surprised.

However, if I've wronged them - especially as severely as Jex as wronged me - then really? They have the right to talk all the shit they want.

[(Anonymous)]

From what I've read, you told him once how he wronged you. That's it. If it was so severe, I would think you'd want to pound it into his head.

But you didn't. I'm having reason to believe you're just playing the victim card by coming here, and garnering sympathy, because you're Dal, and you're perfect, and you can do no wrong.

Give me a break.

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, holy shit.

Okay, first of all, why should she have to pound it into his head repeatedly if he's making her uncomfortable? Oh no, we must coddle him until he gets it though! You didn't beat his head into the pavement hard enough to make it stick! This is totally your fault!

You're victim blaming now, anon. No one's perfect. She's coming here to tell us her side of the story.

+10000

[(Anonymous)]

HOW DARE SHE NOT WANT TO HOLD HIS HAND AND GIVE HIM A SWEETIE

SO RUDE TBH

Seriously, I cannot with this victim-blaming bullshit.

[(Anonymous)]

And every part of it was I'm the victim.

How do you know you're making someone uncomfortable on the internet? How do you read non-existant signs? Not talking could mean they're busy. Signing offline could mean they're busy.

Unless you say something, there's no feasible way. Assumptions can be flown everywhere.

[(Anonymous)]

And every part of it was I'm the victim.

IS THIS REAL LIFE?

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, because she is...? What do you want her to say? Do you want her to try to make amends with him after all the shit he's done to her? Do you want her to repeatedly tell him that he makes her uncomfortable?

Guess what, anon? She wasn't required to tell him that she wasn't going to talk to him anymore or that he made her feel uncomfortable. If someone was doing that to you, would you seriously keep telling them to knock it off? Especially if it was triggering?

I bet you wouldn't. I bet you'd block them on AIM/Plurk/whatever the fuck just like every other person here. No one wants to be triggered - why should she put up with this shit when she can block him and not be triggered?

[(Anonymous)]

because you're Dal, and you're perfect, and you can do no wrong.

No lies detected!

[explosivecombat]

Re: playing the victim card, garnering sympathy:

From the end of the tl;dr here:

I admit that I'm not blameless in this, as I perhaps haven't been as direct as I needed to be with him at all times.

From the...middle of the tl;dr here:

I'm not going to trot out my life's issues unless asked for specifics, because this isn't the time or place to air those in a bid for sympathy, but I can tell you that I have severe diagnosed PTSD, with very large triggers centered around the things that Jex has done to me. He had no way of knowing that at the time that the initial incidents occurred, so I'm not trying to claim that he's a horrible person for triggering that. He had no way of knowing.


Furthermore, the reason I've avoided saying exactly what it is I told Jex - and no, it wasn't just once, it was multiple times - is because it does bring details of my personal life into it. Serious details, beyond what's already been said regarding either of us in public, that I'm under no obligation to disclose should I choose not to.

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds to me like you've got shitty friends. I wouldn't want my friends going around sharing details I've said to them in private and constantly dragging my life into hate memes.

[explosivecombat]

Honestly, I see it less as trying to drag my name through god-knows-what-this-has-even-become, and more protectiveness on their part. What they've said has been related to the harassment incident, and not severely personal details from Jex's or my private lives. Should it come to that then yes, I would ask them to stop. But what's been said has been, so far, solely related to what's been done.

[(Anonymous)]

I just wanted to say that you've been ridiculously classy all over this post. ♥

[(Anonymous)]

As someone who has been a victim of something in real life and was also victim-blamed and questioned by friends of the perpetrator in the same way you are being right now:

I can't help but admire the strength and patience you're showing throughout this entire thread over again and again and again despite everything that's being thrown at you. Just reading this thread and seeing some of these comments made towards you is exhausting to and personally? I would have given up a long time ago.

You're an incredibly classy person as others have said here with how civilized and controlled you are throughout this chaos.

[theycallmesnake]

Someone once told me "How can we hold hands if we keep making fists." It makes sense.

I might have said it before and I'll either say it again or say it now, I don't blame you for your feelings or your actions.

My plurk is always open, as is my AIM, whenever I'm online for all sorts of discussions. You've proven to me you're not just going to go 'LOLOLOLOL YOU SUCK' or something idiotic like that, so I'm willing to talk to you if you need me. :3

[(Anonymous)]

Dude. She's not going to open up to someone who has been furiously defending Jex all over this thread.

She's copping enough flak from these idiots for talking to her close friends, what makes you think she'll talk to you? Step off, you've done enough.

[theycallmesnake]

There's a difference between 'opening up' and just ranting.

I'm going to extend the offer to anyone who needs someone to talk to. If you don't like it, tough. I'm not going to stop being kind because someone on ACJ tells me to 'step off.'

You act like I'm going to do nothing but put her down and harass her myself.

DA

[(Anonymous)]

I don't believe you're going to do that, but at the same time, it doesn't look very good. I understand genuinely wanting to help and all, but it comes off as being kind of condescending.

Again, I don't think you mean to be condescending and I do believe that you want to help, but I can see where that anon is coming from too. Had this offer been to me, I would have been irritated by it if I was in her position.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Because Dal proved her maturity, you're willing to permit her to talk to you privately.

That would come off badly even without the rest of your comments in this thread for context.