On the roleplaying side, she's a pretty flat tone despite playing a huge number of characters. They all sound about the same.
On the OOC side, she's... kind of her own thing. When you keep her at an arm's length distance, you're pretty much fine. But the second you befriend her, she starts getting clingy. And because she doesn't know how to keep people close to her in any sort of normal way, she gets possessive. Her possessiveness gets aggressive. And she gets passive aggressive, as a result.
She'll whine about how little people pay attention to her, and the people she befriends fall into the trap of trying to cheer her up. She gets cheered up, sure, but only to find something else to be the apocalypse the next day.
The problem is that once you get too close to her, she gets more and more aggressive in keeping you close. This means that she gets upset whenever you spend time with anyone that isn't her. At that point, any time you do anything that doesn't involve her, she'll make a passive aggressive whiny plurk/journal entry about it, and when you confront her, she places the blame on you for not telling her in advance what you were doing. She'll usually harass you with "you should have told me, I know I'm wrong but you're wrong too and you should have talked to me" until you give in and apologize. Most people, after getting a lot of this from her, drop her like a rock. Just, no, fucking no we're not dealing with that.
Her boyfriend, Gage, is another story though. Her abusive behavior is a lot clearer there. When they broke up, it was a pretty quiet thing. Tango begged for them to be friends, and Gage gave in for a while. But every time he said anything, Tango'd comment really rude and nasty things. ("x zodiac is said to be flirty" "OMG some of these aren't true... YOU'RE NOT FLIRTY...") He got really sick of her talking down to him and treating him like he didn't have any feelings himself.
Really, that's how Tango treats most people. She assumes that everyone is an unfeeling bitch/asshole and treats them that way, and if they don't shower her in sympathy and asspats every single day then she immediately treats them like they're unfeeling douchebags, lashes out, and gets aggressive.
Basically, just keep her at arm's length and avoid her if you can. If you don't let yourself get too close, she'll decide that you're not worthy of her time (lmao this bitch) and will go to her other friends who have yet to go "you know what fuck your shit you're a rude bitch to me".
She has treated me better than any of you shits she dropped ever did (minus Gage and Lommy--the only ones who seem fully genuine tbh). Sorry I'm so invisible to you all and that only Tango ever gave a single fuck.
It takes a while before Tango starts getting into her worst of behaviors. But people started realizing they didn't really have to put up with her when Sarah broke it off, after being berated by Tango for something irrelevant when Sarah confronted her about whining passive aggressively.
The thing about Tango is that if you ever confront her, she'll immediately deflect with a red herring, trying to get you to apologize for something you did and treating you like the scum of the earth for not telling her your plans or not including her in everything or whatever minor thing that could be a simple discussion. She's never really addressed the fact that she won't confront anyone, and she gets mad at people who confront her and then drags them through the mud. She tries to force an apology out of you so that she doesn't have to feel like shit for not confronting you herself.
What results is that she learns that she can get away with not realizing that what she's doing is offensive (if we're friends and you trust me then why the fuck can't you talk to me) because anyone who's confronting her about it is doing something wrong, so boy oh boy! Why should she change? Obviously she's not wrong. Okay maybe she's a little wrong but not as wrong as they are!!
This has been the reason a vast majority of the time for people to say "I'm fucking done, Tango". This has been rinse, lather, repeat for a while. Ask virtually anyone she's pushed away and they will probably tell you that this is what made them leave.
I am magic, then. I've had to call her out on things a couple of times and after explaining to her why I was pissed off always got apologies out of her without any red herring-deflects or PA whining.
My social skills must just be more fabulous than you guys'.
Or pretty new to the Tango circle. I was pretty fine at not getting that response from her for a good long while.
Honestly, though? I hope you stick to her. I hope you can keep right there with her and catch her when she starts acting passive aggressive and I hope you can help her correct her behavior. That would be phenomenal.
She's been a good friend to me so I don't plan on going anywhere, but I don't take shit from anyone either. I'm quick-as to speak up when annoyed (though I'm the master of tact in these situations alone, things normally go smooth when I confront people). I highly doubt just one person can correct someone else's behaviour and I'm not on a mission to change her, but w/e. We'll see.
Well, then I'm glad she's got one friend who'll stick by her. I will admit entirely that I want her to grow out of this behavior.
But I am never going to speak to her again. Maybe I did not handle myself with absolutely perfect tact. Maybe I could have been more thoughtful. But that doesn't excuse her treatment of me, and I'm not going to speak to her because everything I've described was my experience with her and I do not want to have to endure that kind of emotional abuse. I don't want to deal with her deflecting the confrontations I raise to her and having her attack me and force an apology out of me for something absolutely stupidly minor. I don't want to deal with her hypocrisy of getting mad at me for not confronting her when she never confronts me.
I can't do it. Absolutely cannot. And that is the case with most of the people who were pushed away/backed off from Tango.
"She has treated me better than any of you shits she dropped ever did" "Sorry I'm so invisible to you all and that only Tango ever gave a single fuck."
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Re: PLAYERS
(Anonymous) 2012-01-29 05:44 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-29 07:39 am (UTC)(link)On the OOC side, she's... kind of her own thing. When you keep her at an arm's length distance, you're pretty much fine. But the second you befriend her, she starts getting clingy. And because she doesn't know how to keep people close to her in any sort of normal way, she gets possessive. Her possessiveness gets aggressive. And she gets passive aggressive, as a result.
She'll whine about how little people pay attention to her, and the people she befriends fall into the trap of trying to cheer her up. She gets cheered up, sure, but only to find something else to be the apocalypse the next day.
The problem is that once you get too close to her, she gets more and more aggressive in keeping you close. This means that she gets upset whenever you spend time with anyone that isn't her. At that point, any time you do anything that doesn't involve her, she'll make a passive aggressive whiny plurk/journal entry about it, and when you confront her, she places the blame on you for not telling her in advance what you were doing. She'll usually harass you with "you should have told me, I know I'm wrong but you're wrong too and you should have talked to me" until you give in and apologize. Most people, after getting a lot of this from her, drop her like a rock. Just, no, fucking no we're not dealing with that.
Her boyfriend, Gage, is another story though. Her abusive behavior is a lot clearer there. When they broke up, it was a pretty quiet thing. Tango begged for them to be friends, and Gage gave in for a while. But every time he said anything, Tango'd comment really rude and nasty things. ("x zodiac is said to be flirty" "OMG some of these aren't true... YOU'RE NOT FLIRTY...") He got really sick of her talking down to him and treating him like he didn't have any feelings himself.
Really, that's how Tango treats most people. She assumes that everyone is an unfeeling bitch/asshole and treats them that way, and if they don't shower her in sympathy and asspats every single day then she immediately treats them like they're unfeeling douchebags, lashes out, and gets aggressive.
Basically, just keep her at arm's length and avoid her if you can. If you don't let yourself get too close, she'll decide that you're not worthy of her time (lmao this bitch) and will go to her other friends who have yet to go "you know what fuck your shit you're a rude bitch to me".
+1
(Anonymous) 2012-01-29 07:48 am (UTC)(link)+1
(Anonymous) 2012-01-29 07:57 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-29 08:35 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-29 08:41 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-29 09:06 am (UTC)(link)That seems like what's going on, anyway.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-29 09:41 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-29 09:58 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-29 10:07 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-29 03:34 pm (UTC)(link)The thing about Tango is that if you ever confront her, she'll immediately deflect with a red herring, trying to get you to apologize for something you did and treating you like the scum of the earth for not telling her your plans or not including her in everything or whatever minor thing that could be a simple discussion. She's never really addressed the fact that she won't confront anyone, and she gets mad at people who confront her and then drags them through the mud. She tries to force an apology out of you so that she doesn't have to feel like shit for not confronting you herself.
What results is that she learns that she can get away with not realizing that what she's doing is offensive (if we're friends and you trust me then why the fuck can't you talk to me) because anyone who's confronting her about it is doing something wrong, so boy oh boy! Why should she change? Obviously she's not wrong. Okay maybe she's a little wrong but not as wrong as they are!!
This has been the reason a vast majority of the time for people to say "I'm fucking done, Tango". This has been rinse, lather, repeat for a while. Ask virtually anyone she's pushed away and they will probably tell you that this is what made them leave.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-29 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-30 12:39 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-30 04:48 pm (UTC)(link)My social skills must just be more fabulous than you guys'.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-30 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)Or pretty new to the Tango circle. I was pretty fine at not getting that response from her for a good long while.
Honestly, though? I hope you stick to her. I hope you can keep right there with her and catch her when she starts acting passive aggressive and I hope you can help her correct her behavior. That would be phenomenal.
ayrt
(Anonymous) 2012-01-30 06:44 pm (UTC)(link)She's been a good friend to me so I don't plan on going anywhere, but I don't take shit from anyone either. I'm quick-as to speak up when annoyed (though I'm the master of tact in these situations alone, things normally go smooth when I confront people). I highly doubt just one person can correct someone else's behaviour and I'm not on a mission to change her, but w/e. We'll see.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-30 08:07 pm (UTC)(link)But I am never going to speak to her again. Maybe I did not handle myself with absolutely perfect tact. Maybe I could have been more thoughtful. But that doesn't excuse her treatment of me, and I'm not going to speak to her because everything I've described was my experience with her and I do not want to have to endure that kind of emotional abuse. I don't want to deal with her deflecting the confrontations I raise to her and having her attack me and force an apology out of me for something absolutely stupidly minor. I don't want to deal with her hypocrisy of getting mad at me for not confronting her when she never confronts me.
I can't do it. Absolutely cannot. And that is the case with most of the people who were pushed away/backed off from Tango.
Re: ayrt
(Anonymous) 2012-01-30 08:58 pm (UTC)(link)Re: ayrt
(Anonymous) 2012-01-30 10:10 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-31 03:19 am (UTC)(link)"I never got that from Tango"
"I'm just more tactful"
All implications
Re: ayrt
(Anonymous) 2012-02-01 07:54 pm (UTC)(link)"Sorry I'm so invisible to you all and that only Tango ever gave a single fuck."
Seriously it's like
right above us
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-29 02:36 pm (UTC)(link)